INTRODUCT-I-ONN: I usually find gamemaster screens a waste of money. One side has reference sheets I rarely use, and the other side has art that nobody cares about.

INSERT TONGUE HERE: Rather cleverly, though, one side of the Paranoia screen is actually a play area where, during the combat phase, players place their cards on various areas of the screen for both a bonus as well as side effect. Play? I meant more like slam since some slots are better than others. This, of course, means quick play, fast thinking, and hilarity ensuing. The spots have cryptic "labels", such as HELP, CONTROL, and the ever-present INSERT TONGUE HERE -- and, if a certain one of the spaces is selected, the spaces have entirely different meanings, though still related to their unhelpful labels. (I'm not sure how well this plays with the screen at its usual vertical standing, so I'll assume you just lay it flat.) A sheet included with the gamemaster screen explains these effects, such as TROUBLESHOOTER IS TERMINATED, START SINGING THE BATTLE HYMN OF ALPHA COMPLEX, and TROUBLESHOOTER GETS INJECTED WITH HAPPY DRUGS. I would have preferred the sheet itself printed on stiffer paper.

ITEMS OF QUESTIONABLE PROVIDENCE: The gamemaster's side, meanwhile, is part obligatory reference sheets, and another part new material.

The reference sections are: /// PART ONE: DETERMINING NODE >>> Add STAT plus SKILL. NODE Difficulty levels. /// PART TWO: ACHIEVEMENT REWARD LEVELS >>> How much XP for what mission level of achievement. /// PART THREE: IMPROVEMENT >>> XP cost to recover or increase moxie, boost stat, boost skill, acquire new specialist skill. /// PART FOUR: INCREASING SECURITY CLEARANCE >>> You're not cleared for that. /// PART FIVE: EQUIPMENT >>> XP cost for various equipment. Equipment obtained at each level of security clearance.

The new material are lists of ideas the gamemaster may find handy. These ideas are categorized into groups. /// PART SIX: CONSPIRATORIAL MOTIVATION >>> SINISTER / COERCED / IDEALOGICAL /// PART SEVEN: ALPHA COMPLEX LOCATIONS >>> DANGEROUS / UNPLEASANT / ABOVE YOUR SECURITY CLEARANCE /// PART EIGHT: ITEMS OF QUESTIONABLE PROVENANCE >>> TREASONOUS / EQUALLY QUESTIONABLE UTILITY / BIZARRE /// PART NINE: ACHIEVEMENTS >>> SOCIAL ENGINEERING / VIGOROUS TROUBLESHOOTING / WHIMSEY OF THE HIGH PROGRAMMERS

Here're some examples of these lists. Which part they belong to is left as an exercise to the reader.

OVERMEDICATED AND HALLUCINATING / HACKED CEREBRAL CORTEX / OLD-SCHOOL BOMB-THROWING COMMIE WARBOT FOUNDRY / LOYALTY CHOIR PRACTICE HALL / STATELY PLEASURE-DOME DATA DISK JUST FULL OF SECRETS / LEFT BOOT. RATTING NOISE SUGGESTS A SECRET COMPARTMENT IN THE HEEL / BRAIN IN A JAR. DEMONSTRATE EXCESSIVE LOYALTY. / TRUST NO ONE! / DO 500 JUMPING JACKS

PDF VS. PHYSICAL PRODUCT: With the PDF, you could make a flat playing surface for the Action cards, and separate reference sheets for the GM, either as a gamemaster's screen, or other reference use. Plus, you wouldn't want to get that pristine gamemaster screen touched by those grubby player hands, would you? Review the Discussion comments to the PDF, though. Personally, I'd pick up the physical product.

CONCLUS-I-ONN: The Paranoia Gamemaster screen is certainly cleverer than other gamemaster screens, and a useful game aid for those who want even more [REDACTED] with their Paranoia.