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It's Still Real to Me, Dammit! $4.99 $2.99
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It\'s Still Real to Me, Dammit!
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It's Still Real to Me, Dammit!
Publisher: Dungeon Masters Guild
by Sebrina C. [Verified Purchaser]
Date Added: 05/25/2021 16:49:23

It's Still Real to Me, Dammit! by Michael Dorrill 14 Kayfabe Subclasses for 5th Edition

CW: Injury Detail, Blood, Self-Harm (in context of wrestlers ‘blading’

From the glorious Kaitlyn Leeds cover, depicting a dwarf reverse suplexing a mind flayer and the heartfelt introduction discussing the “magic and pageantry [of] both professional wrestling and Dungeons & Dragons” it’s clear that this is a true passion project. The love and understanding of both professional wrestling and D&D are clearly on display throughout the 14 subclasses, including Blood Hunter, each with their own wonderful illustration by Sandika Rakhi, across 21 pages of unbridled joy.

Every subclass is playable with the vast majority being comparable and competitive with existing archetypes, while bringing the flare and awesome ridiculousness of professional wrestling into D&D. Be prepared for some squared circle antics that will definitely bring some epicness, and not a little ridiculousness to combat.

Silliness aside, this is a seriously quality supplement of subclasses that add all sorts of weird, wonderful and clever features. I particularly like the variety of questions posed at the end of the description of each archetype to help the player consider their character.

Artificer: Guild of the Foreign Object

“Artificers of the Guild of the Foreign Object are every bit the technical geniuses that other artificers are, but their skill comes in figuring out how to get out of sticky situations quickly and with whatever is at hand—sophistication be damned.”

The most hardcore artificer out there! It’s astounding how well the hardcore match aesthetic translates into an artificer always ready to rumble with whatever they can get their hands on, including the classic tacks, barbed wire, ladders, chairs and tables!

Barbarian: Path of the Big Man

“You have taken a simpler path—just being bigger than the guy next to you. It’s a defensive strategy that’s tried and true throughout nature: the cobra, the horned owl, and the puffer fish have all shown that it’s simply better to be bigger.”

This is a big show of a berserker that really leans into being the biggest warrior around and using their size and strength to their advantage. They are brute force and brawn personified.

I do think the name of this archetype and the feature “Big Meaty Men Slapping Meat” are unnecessarily gendered. Obviously, anyone could use this subclass and the actual description is not gendered, which is something.

Bard: College of the Promo

“Every bard does the same thing—get the attention of a crowd. Whether it’s song, dance, artistry, or stories, holding the mob’s attention is what they’re trained for.”

Microphone in hand, these Bards can cast spells over significantly greater distances, cause additional damage with their words and strike fear in their enemies by talking smack over the fallen.

Blood Hunter: Order of the Hardcore

“The Order of the Hardcore adopts principles that are second nature to any Blood Hunter: sacrificing your own blood for more power. Whether it’s juicing yourself intentionally or simply putting your body through so much trauma that you can’t help but turn into a faucet, you know the real power that blood has.”

This Blood Hunter increases their damage to their enemies by doing more to themselves, taking the Blood Hunter’s high risk, high reward hemocraft to 11 in new and brutal ways, including broken glass, bare concrete and gasoline!

Cleric: Tag Team Domain “The Tag Team Domain has faith in these partnerships, invoking the divine power of brotherhood, camaraderie, and friendship to unite allies in a common struggle.”

The ultimate support! Grant your allies bonuses, healing, take the brunt for in their stead and inspire them to leap from danger.

Druid: Circle of the Bear

“Sometimes things are just a little silly. Oh sure, you’re still fighting, but not everything always needs to be so serious. Sometimes you just need to take a moment, put on a costume, and pretend that you’re a bear.”

This Druid can Wild Shape into a magical bear costume that increases their durability! This hardy bear is the centre of attention with hugs to share.

Fighter: Ring General

“Some folks are always valued members of a party. In any type of situation, they always know how to contribute. They help the group work together better than they could alone.”

If the Tag Team Cleric is the ultimate support, the Ring General is the glorious leader! Helpful to all and full of awareness and martial capability.

Monk: Way of the Daredevil

“For your whole life, you’ve dreamed of climbing to the top rope and taking to the sky, twisting your body as you spin faster and faster until you slam into your opponent, crushing them underneath you.”

These high-flying monks may not fly, but they soar, splash, flip, bomb and dive. This is one of the more thematic and situational archetypes that seems a little more limited compared to other monastic traditions, but if you want to climb, jump and fall on your enemies this is the monk for you.

Paladin: Oath of the Mask

“Whatever it is you’ve sworn yourself to, you embody it through that mask. Your mask is a promise, and just as you shall never break that promise, you shall never, ever take off that mask. Having taken the Oath of the Mask, you bear upon your face the ultimate symbol of honor. It is time to live up to it.”

A mysterious and symbolic Paladin with a magical mask and the ability to stun, inspire and channel the might of the great masked wrestlers and luchadores (which the features take their names from and I had a lot of fun looking up).

I absolutely love this built-in idea: “If the mask is removed in front of others, your DM may wish to consider replacing the Oath of the Mask subclass with the Oathbreaker subclass detailed in the Dungeon Master’s Guide.”

Ranger: Those Who Fall Anywhere

“No fight is the same, but there are some that have an extra stipulation or two, and there’s nobody better suited for that kind of a fight than you. You’re ready for wherever the fight takes you—even if it’s Avernus in a Cell.”

A ranger ready to fight anywhere with the particularly useful and thematic “Iron Man” ability displaying their relentless endurance, and their ultimate feature allowing them to create their own steel cage match, which will certainly add carnage to any combat!

Rogue: The Cheap Trick

“The history of cheating in a fight is as long and storied as fighting itself. Frankly, it would be silly for you to not take advantage of that! I mean, if you’re not cheating, then you’re not trying. Sure, you’re full of Cheap Tricks, but that just means they’re cost-efficient.”

This crafty, sneaky, dirty fighting Rogue is a master of disguise, the Triple H spit take and reminded me of the absolute gloriousness that was the Ministry of Darkness and Corporate Ministry storylines from the WWF in 1999 (very much my era of wrestling), turning the epic revelation of Vince McMahon as the Undertaker’s Higher Power, “It’s me Austin! It’s me Austin! It was me all along, Austin!” into two fantastic 17th level features around the ultimate disguise and stunning unmasking!

Sorcerer: The Gravedigger

“Pulling power from Thanatos, it isn’t quite clear if the Gravedigger is undead or simply draws their immense power from undeath—but they are a horrifying force either way.”

What can I say? This is a sorcerer themed around the Undertaker, including his earn, encasing enemies in caskets, burying them alive (metaphorically) and bamfing around tolling the dead to the unmistakable sound of the gong! What’s not to love?!

Warlock: The Manager

“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is the Manager, and it is the greatest privilege of my career to serve as the advocate for my client, the Warlock. And you had the temerity to doubt the strategy of the greatest manager in dungeon-crawling history, or the magical credentials of the most dominant Warlock in D&D ever. Hey, let's get one thing straight: my client is not here to put smiles on people's faces. My client is here to shock the D&D Universe and put tears in the eyes of children. Ladies and gentlemen, there are D&D Hall of Famers, there are legends, and there are D&D superstars, and the key to that is that they're all plural. They're all lumped together. And then there's only one that stands head and shoulders above the rest on a platform of his own. There's only one Warlock. There's only one conqueror of the streak! And there's only one Manager!”

These Warlock’s have more of a personal relationship with their patron, who not only provides them with their magical ability, but acts as their hype being, lending their own personal assistance in combat. This opens up so much awesome potential for roleplay!

Wizard: School of Heat

“You know that getting heat with the crowd is the most important thing there is—well, that, and that everything goes better with massive explosions.”

These wizards have perfected the art of hype and flare, lending themselves the ability to make a grand pyrotechnic entrance, ensure their big spells bang and ultimately crash their foes through flaming tables! To paraphrase Phineas Nigellus Black 's portrait/ Kingsley Shacklebolt, you cannot deny they’ve got style!

This is a seriously quality supplement of subclasses that add all sorts of weird, wonderful and clever features perfect for wrestling fans, or anyone wanting to bring some flare and excitement to the game!

Credits Lead Designer: Michael Dorrill Editor: E.R.F. Jordan Graphic Design: Gordon McAlpin Cover Art: Kaitlyn Leeds Interior Art: Sandika Rakhim Special Thanks: Willy Abeel and Hamilton Spive

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[5 of 5 Stars!]
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