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The Sword of the Bastard Elf : Let's Play
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The Sword of the Bastard Elf : Let's Play

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Kicked out of home at the cruelly young age of 60, you're left to fend for yourself in the wilds surrounding Bilgeton. You are the Bastard Elf: embark on an epic quest in search of your human father and his fabled couch upon which you might crash, or blow that off as soon as something better comes along. Can you survive in this strange and vicious fantasy realm?

The Sword of the Bastard Elf was the first book from Two-Fisted Fantasy played through on the Something Awful Forums. This is the remnants of a Let's Play: about 120 pages of story, a collection of item cards and a handful of bestiary entries. It's a funny and, at times, horrible adventure which might be worth your time to read to give you an idea of what Two-Fisted Fantasy is all about.

This book has been re-made! The full, complete and utterly enormous version of this adventure is available in PDF and print forms on this very site. Click here to take a look! This pdf will give you a slightly spoilery look at one of the many possible routes through the adventure, and though it's not entirely the same you could possibly use this as a walkthrough to get you to one of the weirder and harder to achieve endings in the main tome.

Warning: this isn't for kids. While there's no expicit sex there's some gross violence and something called a "phalloknight" so beware.

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Discussions (1)
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Pierre S November 21, 2016 7:20 pm UTC
I am afraid that pages are missing from the .pdf of this. The page that is supposed to have paragraphs 27-30 is missing. Instead there is a faint image of the front cover and some vertical lines on the left side. The same thing happens in several spots, making the game useless.
Customer avatar
Sam I November 21, 2016 7:31 pm UTC
Hi Pierre,

This isn't an actual game but a "Let's Play" version, kind of like a demo. Unfortunately it's linear even if it gives the illusion of choice. A complete version of this book is coming out within the next year.
Customer avatar
Pierre S November 22, 2016 9:23 pm UTC
Oh! Okay! As long as it's readable. It looks funny, though.
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File Last Updated:
August 30, 2016
This title was added to our catalog on August 30, 2016.